Dealing with the defiant kids can pose different challenges for the parents and sometimes they can even get overwhelmed especially for those who lack any knowledge of how to deal with such children.
Some parents can exhaust all the techniques they know on how to deal with their defiant children with little or no results. Kids have their own personalities, reasons and individual ways of reacting to requests and authority. Children can also get curious and test the limits and rules to find out what will happen if they seek more independence. Below are helpful ideas how to deal with kid’s defiant for parents.
Try to understand your kid’s defiance and face it calmly, while thinking about the most appropriate way to get them out of their inappropriate behavior.
Use relaxed tone and avoid raising your voice or shouting. Use more suggestions instead of commands such as
“Why don’t you clean your hands now so that you can get ready for lunch?” Focus more on cooperation than issuing orders or criticism and always maintain a friendly conversation between you and your kid.
Begin with I’ statements more often instead of You. Such as avoiding saying “You are annoying with your nagging behavior” instead try “I like it better (or I am happier) when you ask quietly”.
Use Distraction to Divert Attention from Inappropriate Activity
Sometimes, young defiant kids might feel the need to jump on the couch or any inappropriate place in your home and get defensive about it when you ask them to stop. You can simply find a better alternative and suggest taking them outside where they can jump on the trampoline. You can use other distractions o avoid inappropriate behavior. You can also look directly into their eyes and talk them out of behaving badly by telling them about the consequences of risky activities or why bad behavior is not appropriate.
Establish and Explain your Rules
A growing kid will constantly have rules to guide them either at home or in school, and for those who are between the ages of one and five, it is good if they learn early on how to cope with the established rules.
It is important for them to learn that inappropriate behaviors such as hitting, biting or grabbing items owned by other kids is wrong. When for example a kid hits another child, tell them; “When you hit other kids, they get hurt or feel bad”. Let them know that it is inappropriate to hit other children. Plan and take your time to explain what they are allowed to do and what they should also avoid doing.
If your kid tends to play with items they find like those used for cleaning. Change their storage spot and put them where they cannot reach them, such as above the kitchen cupboard. If your child tends to have certain inappropriate behavior at specific times, note it and use that to your advantage. For instance, if your child is happier and active in the morning hours and tired and petulant or stubborn during the evenings, visit the grocery or your physician when she is at her best.
Decide if you require Outside Assistance
If your kid’s behavior is more severe or prolonged even after trying all suggestions, seek outside help from professionals. Evaluate different services in your community through local children’s behavior professionals, school systems or support groups. Use these services to your advantage in solving your kid’s defiant behavior completely.
The above knowledge will help any parents with defiant kids to change their behavior in a way that will enable the kids to see that their parents are respectful and aware of their feelings.